Against the Kitchen Floor Tees, Hoodies, Sweatshirts

"I swear, I'm really trying. I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best. I just haven't learned how to be human as you are, yet."

This hoodie, T-shirt, and sweatshirt feature art by Will Wood, with lyrics from "Against the Kitchen Floor."

In the (unlikely) event that your order hasn’t arrived in time for your holiday, we recommend printing out the handwritten note from Will Wood in the product photos and putting it in a fun envelope for the recipient!

Gildan 5000 short-sleeve shirts, direct to garment printed on 100% ring-spun cotton, available from size S - 5XL. Gildan 18000 sweatshirts are direct-to-garment printed pre-shrunk 50% cotton/50% polyester. Gildan 18500 hoodies also DTG, pre-shrunk 50/50 cotton/poly blend. Scroll down for sizing chart! Final product may differ slightly from chart, but are generally true to size. Images are demos, and final product appearance may differ slightly from mockup.